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Onanisms (2002)

by Damien Youth

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1.
No Serpent No Wood (free) 00:57
2.
Scarecrow 02:55
3.
4.
5.
Somebody's placing stones in my path I move through the crowds and they stare as I pass The monstrous forms shift in grey lifeless mass with eyes all dis-fixed and their souls all detached I ponder their genesis beneath a cluster of stars All you are... are brains in a jar The new creatures come and they're hovering me flowing transparent skeletons with wings A strange metamorphosis unfolds before me these apes gone astronaut float above trees A castrated cyber cult appears on the screen They take souls so far away Mr. Applewhite is speaking to me the genderless kingdom is waiting for thee the Hale-Bopp comet tail white colonies they send out their message through "Do" and through "T" phenobarbital vodka and lime is all you need now just go to sleep. sleep Now you go to sleep
6.
Millo Ascending (free) 00:30
7.
Head grows silent as I'm summoning the ghost I'm sitting faceless in the field of souls The tentacle caresses and the sigh-less hovering host she's pouring venom in me In the collapse of embrace there's an embryonic face whispering secrets of the silent race We rise above the forest in the black glow metal fleet Below she's growing distant Brains form galaxies which terrify the host In chemical deduction Raw mouth watches from the corridors of hate The new disease in-capsuled Brains turn colors into sorted shapes defiled The conscious mind surrenders The godhead salivates and mumbles to itself' "I never have existed" And to die is to realize you never have existed
8.
Hospital (free) 00:37
9.
How does it feel when the life force slips away? Mysterious glow through the vacuum of 10,000 days Through electric pulsing galaxy falling from the skeleton tree pulsing through infinity you slipped outside my telescope ring Now I can't see you anymore you've slipped inside the cloak of stars Now I know not what I'm looking for How does it feel when your soul slips from it's hold And the voices are low and your cellophane skin is shivering cold Like a ghost inside the plastic bag staring through the falling sand like time slipping through their hands upon the wings of angels Decorated with disease you're rising from the dying breed like a flower bending with the breeze beneath the feet of angels. ... trodden upon
10.
11.
12.
Date Rape (free) 01:05
13.
Murder In Me 03:30
14.
15.
Art Walk (free) 01:19
16.
I'm so afraid of you and the rest of them too, it's true. I'm so afraid of you and the rest of them too I saw you walking on your own today as the ghost songs played in your head I saw you staring wild beneath your hair with the eyes of the living dead Mystery surrounds you as you're sucked into the vacuum, subtle violence of passing days And you move through all the vultures And you purify each circle that your spirit has passed... away Long are the shadows that are stretching inside my mind. Deep is the chasm in the godless space behind your eyes And all of our tomorrows evaporate like water in the hot desert sands of time And the ghost that moves within me is moving towards the ending swirling faint in the mortal eye. And, I'm so afraid of you and the rest of them too, it's true I'm so afraid of you and the rest of them too.
17.
Radio Future (free) 00:17
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19.
Journal Repent (free) 01:08
20.
Jane 02:04
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22.
Julian Coat (free) 01:00
23.
I still see you there, in your little room Playing all by yourself, humming a lullaby Though you’re far away, you will always be Deep in the soul of me, I still hear your little cry And there’s a place far away, still together we’ll be Through the fields we will run, hand and hand in the sun We will laugh and we’ll sing and when the day turns to night I will sing you to sleep, I will kiss you goodnight I went in today, to your little room I looked to the place you lied as tears filled my searching eyes I whispered out your name and listened carefully I wanted to hear your cry but all that I heard was mine If there’s a place far away, where your spirit has gone Then I want to be there, for there is my home I cannot escape your young questioning eyes Looking to me for help, looking to me for life And you held out your hand, and you whispered “I’m scared” Everything is okay, for your daddy is here… My child slipped away . . . My child passed away . . . Still you passed away . . .
24.
Great Deeds (free) 00:25
25.
Hermit Song 02:39
26.
Radio Spirit (free) 00:19
27.
Remember Me 10:54
28.
Nobody 03:18
Was only 15 years ago, gave up religion for rock n roll I was looking for a new connection, what I got was a new addiction I stood on the stage in a mock crucifixion like a mystical sage, revealing deception The golden calf was up for grabs with all of my heroes dead on the slab I felt myself filling the void that was left by the death of the wonder boys The ghost you left lying 'round through records and magazines are swirling inside of me as I sing my songs to no one at all Standing up stoned in a familiar place but there are no familiar faces I must have played here a million times before but all I recognize is the exit sign above the door And I swear this is the last time Yeah I swear this is the last time that I try to make a friend in this world The lights are out I'm leaving the stage I'm sitting in my closet like a stepchild afraid Writing songs for no one but me but secretly hoping that this one's the key that will open the door for me where they will be waiting and they'll all want to feel the world that I've been creating. . . ...but there's nobody there.

about

Damien Youth's 2002 Onanisms somewhat chronicles a behind the scenes transformation of the artist. During the recordings of these tracks, Damien was going through various relationships, a number of bands, drug & religious experimentations & even the birth of a child.

Damien has admitted to being obsessed with recording everything. Here you'll find conversations with friends, at times, sounding more like therapy sessions, notes to himself while in the midst of drug intoxication & all captured on an old hand held cassette recorder.

Aside from those unconventional soundbites, Onanisms features a mix of lost demo songs Damien neglected to use in other projects.

credits

released October 24, 2002

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