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Songs From Black Tower (1994)

by Damien Youth

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1.
Damiana 05:01
She came walking through the meadow with a lantern in her hand she peered over the hedge rows searching for her man She said "His name is John B. Wylder and he left three days ago I awoke one Sunday morning and found myself this note It reads I love you Damiana but there's somewhere I must go you see the good lord has called me to his gathering of souls There will be times when you will miss me but please don't call my name for no more shall I answer for this is my dying day Don't be blue Damiana Don't be sad sweet Diane I feel all the pain within you but you don't know who I am She weeps over her lover and all the time that's lost She's still carrying his family name She's still carrying his cross as she walks back to her cottage the one that they called home and she stays up with the light on for she cannot sleep alone And she's going through his paintings his poetry and rhymes She finds a poem called "Damiana" and she reads it in her mind I love you Damiana and I built for you this home where every night I'll lay beside you and you'll never be alone She's going through her diary and she reads of better days and she finds a flower he gave her pressed between the page She turns to find his photo that he slipped into her book and her heart grows cold and heavy for he was giving her that look Please don't cry Damiana Please don't cry sweet Diane for I'd take you from your sorrow but you don't know who I am Late one night out in the meadow I saw a lantern light and I knew twas Damiana still pondering her plight So I followed from a distance but the light was growing small when a shot rang out in horror and I saw... that lantern fall I love you Damiana I love you sweet Diane I would answer to your beacon but you don't know who I am I love you Damiana I love you sweet Diane I would answer to your beacon but you don't know who I am
2.
Wedding Day 06:13
In my silent room I would whisper your name into the shadows blow out candles and I'd dream of you In the golden dawn I would watch her spinning her yarns for Mayfair wash her long hair in the golden dawn I've known you one thousand years and I saved you this cup of tears and I was so hurt you did not recognize me Like the rosary she had lost all the faith she had in me I weep softly In my silent gaze You will see within my soul ancient spirits swirling violent in my silent gaze I sing this soliloquy and I summon you in my sleep but no reply Light the festival fires let's challenge the night let's gather in horrorefrain Dance in pantomime trance This age of romance this gathering doth conjure me Though all good things have gone to waste I have not gone I still remain here within these fire flames my ghost shall always haunt this place My spirit has known no demise I only forfeit my disguise and though you cannot see my eyes please know I still behold you Drink the festival wine revel in time but please don't forget your fate You shall mortal uncoil ascend from the soil and you all must leave this place ...alone On my final day please don't question if you will ever see me or I will long thee from my lonely grave On this wedding day I'll submit to thee all my life unfolding Azrael hold me on this wedding day Light a candle for me stay in your room shut out the cold cruel world Angel, just go to sleep and soar into dreams for there I'm awaiting thee I love you still
3.
On My Return 02:45
I don't want to lie here anymore I want to be near you I can't stay in silence anymore I want you to hear me Can you feel the longing of a soul like morning aurora I don't seem to know you anymore I'm lost in confusion Deep within the canyon there's a ghost wind stirring dancing through the ruins like a lost soul returning to his home Then he finds the world he'd known no longer needs him Then the wind grows quiet and still and silently dying and that's how it feels to be lying next to you I don't want to know you anymore I'm spiritually dying I don't want to see you anymore I'm so tired of crying I can stay in here and lock the door without a companion Or I could go and wander through this world leave my old world abandoned High above the mountains there's a storm cloud gathering weeping his immortal tears on the silent forests like an old soul hovering so lonely, forgotten railing in his majesty that none will ignore him and that's how it feels to be dormant in your world
4.
Last Winter 03:29
Firelight, the candle disputes the night and I'm sitting on a cold floor staring at the ceiling counting raindrops on a winter's night I write, and now I realize I keep going over old times rehearsing all my best lines for when I see you again next time But you're there, wind dancing in your hair window shopping in the city walking down the sidewalk sprinkling your magic everywhere And you stand, there in your fence of friends safe where I can't touch you I know I'm not supposed to touch you but I'm wanting to again And the winter she unfolds her wings all around me And the winter she is calling me and I surrender Streetlights, I'm walking home tonight I think of all the words unspoken and I'd really like to call you but I won't bother you tonight And I'd have no right for I know you have other men and you've taken them as lovers then turned them into brothers but I'm refusing to pretend And you lie, all on your own tonight and you don't know I can see you but I swear that I can see you and I know what's on your mind And the winter she unfolds her wings all around me And the winter she is calling me and I surrender Firelight, the candle disputes the night I'm sitting on a cold floor staring at the ceiling counting raindrops on a winter's night goodnight
5.
I've known you forever You've known me for just one night Can't you see I'm frightened I don't want to say goodbye So wrap your arms around me let me sleep for evermore That's the world that's out there so please don't open up that door They want you, they want me they want things that should not be robots of society don't let them take my life from me I don't want to be like you I don't want to be like you I don't want to scare you I don't want to make you cry but I think you've forgotten you and I are going to die So why just waste the hours why pretend to be alright Life is so uncertain this could be our final night I confess, I'm afraid I don't want to waste away And I have taken your advice I even prayed to Jesus Christ but I'm still down here dying now I'm still down here dying now I've been to the temples to plead my case before the lord "God I hope you're listening won't you open up your door? I am sorry father, if I have offended thee but if you will not help us then you are offending me I know you, you know me we've seen things we should not see we've seen children lose their faith and we've seen people in their graves with no god to save them now with no god to save them" God is peace, God is love but God's in heaven up above Has he seen the tortured face dying in the human race? We should tear the whole thing down We should tear the whole thing down I've seen war, I've seen hate I've seen murder, I've seen rape I've seen children in the street begging just for food to eat yes I think we've seen enough stop the world I'm getting off
6.
Coming Home 03:14
Last night I looked up to the center of a star I wondered if it knew exactly where you are And if I followed would it lead me to your arms But it fell from the sky and I searched through the night though there were many a’light it was the only one I’d made my wish upon And I wonder if you’re ever coming home The world has always said you don’t belong with me And there were times, I’m sure that you must have agreed but you can’t live life just to please your family If you look deep inside you will still find my bride and if you can’t sleep tonight why don’t you call me on the phone and tell me if you’re ever coming home And I wonder if you’re ever coming home Now every time I feel the cold October wind I long to hold you close my heart just aches within I close my eyes hold my pillow and pretend but it’s never the same and I still feel the pain and my tears fall like rain because I’m dying all alone and I wonder if you’re ever coming home
7.
Like the rosary you wore I hang a silent metaphor hidden in shame behind the door And all those songs for you I wrote they are like wings that don't unfold They longed, but never felt the wind I recall on the night we met How so strangely you stared from behind golden hair were we really there? How we seem just like strangers now in our prisons of distance and sorrow and doubt I just want to get out Now when this garden minstrel sings one of his sad soliloquies he's trying to tell you everything He's laid his plot within your soul but he'll not reap what he has sown he's cast his seeds upon the stone Do you still have all the poems I wrote all the letters and lyrics I bled from my soul that you hid in your home And the last night I held you tight your body was warm, but another man's fire is what you desired
8.
Mayfair Girl 02:14
She was my Mayfair girl with hair that fell like golden rain She was a perfect girl stolen from my book of dreams stands before me shimmering delicate un-suffering it seems she's an offering She was my sunny girl hair all spun in daisy chains She was my funny girl with spirit of an ancient child peering from her deep blue eyes with soul unfolding filling up the sky pretty butterfly She was so serpentine wrapped around my poetry but then she slipped away garden of my flower died mother of my unborn child I thought that you would be my bride I cried, on the night we died
9.
10.
Gypsy 03:26
Revolution, revolution in the house where gypsy lives on the back porch she professes that there's no way we can live There's conviction in her speaking and her eyes they look disturbed she's got concordances and references to back up every word She points her narrow finger towards the eucalyptus tree, then she says "God is within everything you see" She's got black potions in her pantry Aphrodite in a can all the symbols of the zodiac embroidered in astrakhan She's got a cat named Nosferatu She drinks strange Norwegian wine keeps a bible on the mantel under last week's TV guide She's got a statue of the Mary holding on to baby Christ and she swears finally Elvis Presley has really died She reads tea leaves she reads Tarot she reads candle wax and runes she reads the dirty palms of strangers in dim lit smokey rooms She's got a ball made out of crystal she keeps on her TV and she talks to apparitions that only she can see She has met Morrison and Lennon She has met Jimi Hendrix too Well, you'd think that they'd have better things to do She's got tools of divination she consults on everything She got a star inside a circle on her necklace, on her ring and she's into Tantric yoga and ritualistic sex Kundalini meditation charms and potions spells and hexes She says past life regression is the only way to go if you really want to recognize your soul She's taking of her crystal lights every candle in the room and she's firing up her incense and her eyes reflect the moon Well, I don't know if I love her but I'd sure like to pretend so I proceed to tell her stories to let her know just who I am " I've been alien abducted channeled voices from the stars and it's Bigfoot that put that dent upside my car"
11.
Hollow Me 03:13
12.
I see rain clouds bellowing skies December in your eyes I see storm child silent watching in shadowy mezzanine Please don't look at me my pastel queen Follow, fairground princess of the carousel I watch you spinning round and round White dress flowing I'm watching from the Ferris wheel as wind just blows your hair around I see the man in the penny arcade handing out tickets and making his way up to the turnstile where you stand and wait he gives you a smile then he opens the gate Walk to graveyard I sit behind your house I'm writing poetry beneath the stars I can see you running through the meadow catching fireflies in Mason jar to the music of the meadowlark I follow you through the city streets down to the cathedral and without a sound you sit and you watch as the merchants close down all of their shops and they're heading for home Butterfly I think I want to follow everywhere you go Moonlight maiden standing in the window of her bedroom counting all the stars I see you turning off lights closing curtains locking all the doors I will wait for you out in the moors
13.
All things unseen desire no acknowledgment by all who concede to be trapped in the conscious state who cannot perceive beyond their own element who ostracize me for presenting the paradox oh, Paraclete, do comfort me The Serpent be wise but it only takes a fool and his flute to deceive him unweave him from his basket of truth mesmerized, by the music of lies Don't be ensnared or lured by society please don't forget it was they who had stolen your dreams as a child, in exchange for the immaculate lie like that time in your youth you'd see things in your room and cry out your mother rushed in turned the light (You're only dreaming, I don't believe you) Close your eyes it is alright (I did not want you, I did not want you) It's only a dream (I never loved you, I never loved you) She's teaching you how not to see (I did not want you, I did not want you) Just like her society The institute of higher earning seduced you from your path of learning They say the soul is but a theory and now your body's growing weary But now you've got no god to pray to for god is only human virtue astronomically projected unreal for science can't detect it nor put it in an incubator a test tube or an oscillator subject it to mere human scrutiny can't they see there are things bigger than you and bigger than me All things that live, desire continuance All things that die, desire a reverence All souls contained have fear of the elements All souls released shall return to the embodiment of all that is god and all that is man ascend to all that is god and all that is man The institute of higher earning seduced you from your path of learning They say the soul is but a theory and now your body's growing weary But now you've got no god to pray to for god is only human virtue astronomically projected unreal for science can't detect it nor put it in an incubator a test tube or an oscillator subject it to mere human scrutiny can't they see there are things bigger than you and bigger than me Can't they see the god that's within is within the god that's without Can't they see the god that's within is within the god that's without
14.
You have seen me in my makeup on the pauper's stage You have seen me pour my soul out on a silent nation And you just stood there watching silent as I went insane pleading to god before man and this world was never my friend You had seen me in my black room writing poems of love then you had lied beneath me wondering if I deceived you but all I ever wanted was to die within your arms but you thought my world was pretend ah, the world was never my friend You had felt my spirit urging you from your device you had heard me psychologically dissect this life still you all ignored me when I said your spirit dies but you turned your backs on my death and embraced the impotent flesh You never saw me crying in my room alone in pain You never knew the nights I wondered if you ever loved me now that I am dying there is something I must say I want to see you again but the world was never my friend

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released December 15, 1994

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